Would You Date a Feminist?

Yes. I would date a feminist because I like the idea of entering a two-way relationship with a woman that already has a victim mentality in which I am the victimizer and I owe her something just because of my very existence. Because she has experienced god awful things that could only be attributed to mine and all other men’s existence. And beauty, ugh. All women have beauty. Whether a woman is pulling poop out of her panties and rubbing it in her hair or if she is wearing a dress with makeup, she is beautiful, and any man that says otherwise is wrong. Because beauty is nothing that should be gained or maintained, women just have it regardless of anything that they do and the ideas of beauty or something being more attractive in comparison to another is a form of primitive thinking.


And for the transexuals and whatever other fantasy sex identities there are, as far as my own sexuality goes, I would like to add that I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields and dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People tell me that a human being becoming a helicopter is impossible and that I am mentally retarded but I don’t care, I am beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles onto my body. From now on I want everyone to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me then you are a heliphobe and you need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.


And the reason that I said yes, I would date a feminist, it  is because I hate myself for no reason and I am on a life long odyssey to find a woman that can hate me at least half as much as I do, for all the same reasons.


(this is all just drunken rambling after reading bullshit off of Tumblr for two hours)