Dear Facebook Diary 6/14/13

I have a goal of one day working in the entertainment industry and technically my summer job has opened the door into the technical side of entertainment. As previously stated I am working for Suitable Sounds and Light Signals in Magnifico Isla this summer and it is wreaking havoc on my body. I actually enjoy physical labor as I am an enthusiastic meathead gym-jock, and I know that nothing can soften the hands and heart of a man faster than an easy paycheck, but I am getting pretty goddamn tired of spending 24 hours a day feeling as if my lower spine will snap by picking up my TV remote or pushing hard against a dry shit. The job pays okay and it has led me to being able to rub elbows with some moderately famous people, but the means to achieving a victory are as important as the victory itself. In other words, I am not sure if the juice is worth the squeeze.

It’s only a summer job and I have no real commitment to these people but I have this issue with loyalty whenever I take on a job. I was originally told that I would only work a concert every weekend or every other weekend, as well as loading and unloading the semi trailers before and after shows if I wanted some more money. However, it is quickly devolving into my working 8-16 hour shifts everyday for over a week at a time. I prevented this from happening to me this week by vomiting from either heat or exhaustion while at work the other day and now I am spending some time in Denver at my brother’s house until I feel like going back. Speaking of back, that is the real issue here. I royally deadlifted my lower back into oblivion three years ago, causing the dislocation of my L2 vertebrae and further fucked-up-ed-ness to the surrounding spine stuff. My doctor recommends my looking into having two of my vertebrae fused together and my chiropractor enjoys laying me on a table and escorting me through snap city every few weeks. Since my accident while trying to deadlift the Earth, I have managed to bring my body back to an outstanding example of how weight lifting and a consistent diet of protein and alcohol can raise the human body into the zenith of human physical capability and fitness. My boss at this job told me that I should stop working out in my free time so I would have more energy at work. He also said that he could run further than me despite the fact that he’s ten years older and smokes a pack of cigarettes or more everyday. I smiled but he wasn’t joking. Pffft, nigger please. I am by no means a speedy runner but I have the endurance of a nuclear submarine and this guys looks like he couldn’t outrun a dead animal.

That is the other thing about this fucking “part time” summer job. Other than about three people and the guys that run the place, I am working with people that have accepted their places at the absolute bottom of America’s social class system and they have no plans of ever leaving it. To me, a $500 check is not a pant-shitting amount of money. It’s enough to make me interested but in terms of spending it’s more like a weekend that got a little out of hand rather than a life changing amount of greenbacks. These other guys think that it’s enough to permanently sacrifice one’s body for and the only advice they have about me and my aching back is that I should “be a man and work through the pain”. There is a world of difference between living in the moment and living like there is no future, and these people tend to live the latter, which ultimately ends with them never creating any kind of a future for themselves. I have much more grit when it comes to getting what I want.

Okay, I’m done bitching for now. I am currently sitting in my brother’s guesthouse-turned-office in his backyard. My sister in law is working at the hospital and my nephew is inside with his nanny. My nephew, Liam, is two and a half years old and although I have not seen him since Easter he still remembers my name and worships the ground that I walk on. As soon as I arrived and exited the car yesterday he shouted “Luke!” and ran to me with his favorite book of cars and trucks. He then knelt before me with his head down, holding the book above his head in front of me as an offering of peace and his recognition of my powers. Then he grabbed my hand and showed me the lawnmower and I couldn’t really understand what he was saying. We’ve been playing cars and putting stickers on his little work desk as well as playing in the dirt and shit in the backyard. I tend to connect with kids because I made a conscious choice to never grow up while I was still immature enough to make those kinds of decisions. Everyone in my family is encouraging me to use my writing skills to make a living and I’m beginning to take it to heart. Writing and being a muscle bound fucking badass covered with cock veins and chock full of creatine are the only things that have ever stood out as natural talents to me. Oh, and being good with kids I suppose. Well anyway, my goal is to now exploit those talents to get me into the entertainment business or to just be my own boss. I will still graduate with a theatre degree from UNK, but not with the intentions of permanently working for someone else’s dream. My goal is to not be someone else’s bitch for a meager paycheck, but to become the man that my nephew thinks I am.

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