Dear Facebook Diary 6/6/13

This will be a very short entry as I am about to leave for Counsel Bluffs in 20 minutes to set up a Trace Adkins concert for tomorrow. I have permanently shoved off from my duty as Almirante of the Lucia y’ Javier Barbeque Armada and am currently spending my summer being employed at Confident Audibility and Illumination in Grand Island as a low-born minion, also known as a stagehand. This job pays fairly well but requires a ridiculous amount of physical labor and travelling. Although I am free from working the traditional Monday through Friday, nine to five schedule; I do work quite a bit and the work that I do is straight up prison level manual labor. I am also at the very bottom of the food chain in terms of status but the job has its perks.



            I spent this past weekend doing backstage grunt work for the Kings of the Mic tour in Council Bluffs and then the Black Crowes the next night. The first concert was a quartet of quadragenarians from the 90’s comprised of the African American rappers De La Soul, Ice Cube, Public Enemy, and LL Cool J while the crowd was comprised of every black stereotype known to America. A turbo-ghetto hoochie wearing a skintight full body $100 bill suit was pulled backstage and danced for me during the entire first show. I have never been to a rap concert before as I always believed that they would be a somewhat boring orgy of speaking ebonics and pick pocketing. However, I was wrong. Ice Cube and Public Enemy rocked the stage harder than anyone I’ve ever seen. I even fist bumped Ice Cube backstage and shook hands and said “hello” to Flavor Flav and Chuck D. Despite their Caucasian hating lyrics, Public Enemy were the nicest guys in the world.



            The Black Crowes rocked even harder. The crowd was larger despite the freezing ass rain and 30 mile per hour winds. I labeled most of their drum cases and shit for them because they were leaving for Europe the next day and wouldn’t have time to do it themselves, but the guys were still douche bags. I could care less how dickish any of the bands are because I still get to stay at the Marriot and eat catered meals all day. It’s nice.



What really sucks is that I lift weights often and it shows. So whenever it comes to lifting something heavy, everyone looks at me. I fucking hate that because I became a muscle wizard to get all the maidens and hat tips, not to break my back for chain smokers and a paycheck. My lower back is hurting again and if I blow it out then I’ll have to find a new job for the rest of the summer and I won’t be able to workout for another month or however long. So please pray for my lower back this weekend.

And don’t pay attention to the picture above this. It’s racist as all hell but I thought it was hilarious.


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