From Thursday, December 20th, 2012.
It’s Thursday and the world is supposed to end on Friday, but I am completely unafraid. I read an article today that said for every time that you indulge in alcohol or watching TV, you lose 30 minutes off of your total lifespan. After reading those statistics I did some math and discovered that I died about 142 years ago. Being that I am still alive, I believe this means that I am immortal and death cannot touch me. The weather is supposed to be fairly shitty tomorrow so I doubt that I will leave my apartment and bid all of you a friendly farewell in person, so goodbye. It sucks that all of you weak mortals have to parish at the end of the Mayan calendar, but hey, it was fun while it lasted.