I drive a Malibu, and I named it Boo or The Boo as soon as I bought it. I name most of the objects that I hold dear; my computer goes by the name of Craig Mac. This is because it is difficult to destroy something that has a name. I’m pretty sure there is a law that says a child must have a name on their birth certificate before the parents can leave the hospital with the baby to ensure that the parents won’t kill the child either on purpose or by accident. Because who gives a shit about a baby that doesn’t even have a name? Which reminds me, if I were to ever run for President I would pass a law that extended the time a mother could have an abortion to 16 years. Some kids are real fucking scumbags and I think reminding them that they could be “aborted” up until the age of 16 would help to straighten them out.