Sunday, November 12, 2006

These are just some of the very important character defining questions that I ask my roommates while they’re watching TV. I call it “Would you rather”. I believe that it is a list of very precise and detailed questions that help a person in their search for personal discovery. These are just a few of the questions that have recently popped up.

1. Would you rather have sex with a recently deceased woman or have sex with a live dog?

2. Would you rather cut off your penis or both of your arms?

3.Would you rather have a 20-minute French kissing make out session with a 90 year old woman or a 15 year old boy?

4. Would you rather masturbate in front of your mom or your dad?

5.Would you rather have anal sex with your dad until climax or stab a 5-year-old girl in the stomach while looking her in the face?

6.Would you rather saw off both of your pinkies with a hacksaw or give your grandpa an intense 30-minute rimjob?

7. Would you rather spend 5 years in prison or spend 10 years being buttfucked by a big black guy twice a week while you’re still free?

8. Would you rather live until you’re 50 years old while being extremely good looking and having a 10 inch dick, or would you rather live until you’re 100 while being really ugly and having a 2 inch dick?

9.Okay, you have to give a constant 15 minute rimjob while having a screaming boner. Every time you lose your boner or go a little limp, the time starts over. Which one of your same sexed friends would you give the rimjob to?

10. Would you accept 1 billion dollars in exchange for the inability to ever have an erection again for the rest of your life? (No, you cannot fix it with surgery)

* You may notice that about all of these questions has a sexual theme. That’s because sexual desires make up 98% of a man’s goals in life. So sexually themed questions are very important when a man wants to find his true self. There are literally tens of thousands of these questions but I’m hungry right now, so maybe I’ll type some more of them later.