Monday, March 19, 2007

I just finished shaving my legs about 20 minutes ago. I’m finally starting to slim down and get my six-pack back, so I figured I would go the extra mile by shedding my body hair as well. I’ve listened to women complain about having to shave their legs before and I just want to say that those women are fucking pussies. It was one of the easiest Goddamn things I’ve ever done. I lathered a thick and rich layer of Extra Strength Nair for Men over both of my legs and buttocks. Then I waited for about 5 minutes or so, then I got in the shower and rinsed it off, and then I went back over them with a razor a few times. You’re either a retard or a total fucking pussy if you think that shaving your legs is difficult. Eating with a fork is more complicated than shaving your fucking legs.

I do have a new role model in my life now that I have shaved my legs. I used to think that the famous actor Dom Deluise was a fine and honorable man to look up to, but now I hope that I can someday be as strong and well grounded as the hair on my chode. Apparently the hair between my legs is comprised of Teflon and diamond strands. I didn’t want to put Nair on my chode or anywhere near my butthole because I know that it can cause chemical burns, so I figured that I would just shave my chode and perianal area. I was using a brand new Mach 3 Turbo razor that was fresh out of the package and I still couldn’t shave the hair off of my damn chode. It was like fighting fire with fire. A Mach 3 Turbo razor could shave the faces of Mount Rushmore and it would still be sharp enough to safely shave your balls with, but apparently it is no match for the patch of hair that grows between my pud and pucker. It’s as if God protects my chode hair. My chode skin was beginning to get razor burn from constantly trying to shave it and the fucking hair still wouldn’t come off. My legs and ass are completely hairless now, but I just know that I would have a total anal beard if someone were to see me from behind while I was spread eagle. I don’t have a girlfriend right now, so I can’t think of anyone that will get to see my anal beard anytime soon. That actually makes my anal beard a little more important to me; because I know that it is my own and very private anal beard. Mitch. That is what I’m going to name my anal beard, Mitch.