Wednesday, August 09, 2006

It’s fairly often that I get called a prude. I’ve even been called a sissy, a Lazy Susan, a No-Nonsense Nancy, a Shameful Shannon, Loose Lipped Lisa, Sassy Sarah, Fanny Big Tits, War Monger Wendy, Brutis the Barber Beefcake, and I’ve even been called a Dickless Dianna Doorknob Diddler. I suffer these nicknames because I am very picky about the girls that I have sexual intercourse with. I’ll take a blowjob from anything that won’t actually eat my dick, but I’m very picky about vaginas. It isn’t because vaginas are weird or yucky (even though they are if you realize that it is a mucus producing hole in a woman’s crotch), but it is because I don’t like to deal with drama. I hate talking on my phone for very long, I hate having to come up with creative lies, I can’t stand buying gifts for a girl just because she lets me squirt on her, and I really hate stupid people. So having sex with some dipshit that is willing to give it up to me on the same night that I meet her is out of the question. Now I am on a mission to have a hot, smart, and sexually adventurous girlfriend. I’ve never had a serious girlfriend before and I think that I definitely need one now. From now on, I am going to use this blog as my journal of this wild adventure that I am about to set foot on. I’ll also use it to write about stupid shit that’s on my mind, I’m really smart.