March Madness is well under way now and that means that I won’t be watching much TV for however fucking long they show basketball on 90% of the 22 channels that I have. If I were given the choice to either watch basketball or beat my dick with a blunt object my reply would be, “do you have a hammer?” I’m five and a half feet tall and white. I don’t give a rat’s ass about watching Amazon ghetto trees throwing bouncy balls through hoops for hours on end, and my friends that are obsessed with it are also some of the least athletic people I know.
Speaking of athletic, I am working out more now that the weather is getting nicer. To me, lifting weights is sort of like meditation. I lift weights when I have something on my mind or I lift intermittently while I do homework because it helps me think. I normally workout in my apartment and I rarely go to a gym these days because I like it to be quiet while I workout. However, today I went to the UNK gym and I meditated the living shit out of that whole fucking dumbbell rack like the bad ass motherfucker that I am! It was arm day and I have to tell you Facebook Diary, I dominate on arm days. I was wearing my regular workout pants and a t-shirt but still looking ripped and veiny as all fuck. Then some cocky little string bean in his sleeveless shirt, Under Armour shorts, and his legs that were almost as thick as my fingers walked in. He was chatting up a storm and screaming like Braveheart with every lift because he was a classic gym attention whore that thinks he’s all “jacked”. He was huffing and puffing while bench pressing the 65 pound dumbbells. I walked over to him as soon as he was done and asked him if I could use them. He handed them to me and I proceeded to curl them heavy sumbitches right in front of him. I truly believed that my forearms were going to snap once I reached the halfway point, but I had already committed to humiliating this nerd so I had to proceed. I curled them bastards 30, or maybe 2 times before I rested them back onto the weight rack and then turned around and gave him my “nigga please” look. Then I continued my reign of domination by lifting the whole weight stack with my Goddamn triceps.
I finally got to see last week’s episode of “The Walking Dead”. Jesus H. do I love this show. If you watch that show and you haven’t seen the previous episode yet and you happen to be reading this, I’m not going to ruin it for you because it is really shocking when Rick kills Shane out of nowhere. Fucking amazing television right there.