Sunday, December 10, 2006

Last night was Saturday, December 9, 2006. Fucking Christ, our annual Christmas party was held at our house again this year. I can’t tell you much about it though because I was apparently passed out for most of it. I’m still hung-over right now so I’m just going to sum it all up. We hung between 3500-4000 Christmas lights on the inside of our house, I decided to grow a mustache and learned that I can actually look good with a mustache, I drank a lot of Franzia boxed wine, I ate and threw mashed potatoes everywhere, somebody put a chap stick label onto a glue stick and people were accidentally gluing their lips together, a rented school bus drove the party to a bar, told that I was passed out in the bus for a while and nobody could wake me up even when they were hitting me in the head with beer bottles, I puked all over the front of my Menorah sweatshirt and then decided to give “vomit hugs” to strangers at the bar, school bus drove us back to my house, we had a giant smoke machine in the living room, danced to Salt N’ Peppa while nobody could see each other because of the smoke, heard a really loud engine in the room, smoke cleared and Cale was mowing our living room carpet with our lawn mower, the lawn mowing thing was so fucking hilarious that everybody just cheered him on, I woke up and all of my sheets were gone and I had puked all over my bedroom, found out that I had puked all over the house and that was why the entire house smelled like somebody’s guts, bathroom covered in vomit and broken glass, people sleeping in the living room and using the shower curtain for a blanket, my friend’s girlfriend’s car was missing, nobody knows exactly how many people came but the head count was over 65,000, my elbows are bruised and hurt like hell because I was probably falling down a lot, found friend’s girlfriend’s car, ate Christmas cookies and cleaned house all day, took Cale to the airport so he could go back to Santa Cruz, everything is fine now and we are already planning for the Jean Shorts in July Party.