40 hours a day, 24 days a week

Friday, December 14, 2007

I haven’t typed anything on here in a while and this is why. I now have a very easy and decent paying job that requires me to work an absolutely absurd amount of hours. I just finished working another twelve hour shift on a fucking Saturday and I cannot give you a single fucking reason why. I was supposed to work from 1:00 PM to 10:30 PM but ended up leaving at one in the morning. So not only am I unable to have a social life, but I can’t even get off early enough to watch Saturday Night Live. The place closes at 9:30 PM and I will give you one guess as to why me and my fellow workers had to stay until 1:00 AM. Nope, you guessed wrong. There was no fucking reason.

We did our usual thing and then we sat like lumps on your ass for hours until the manager finally decided to unlock the doors and let us out. It’s snowing pretty bad outside and the motherfucker wouldn’t even let us out to warm up our cars. So after waiting and watching our weekend slip away, we all had to hobble through the snow and scrape our windshields before we could drive home. This isn’t the first or even the fifth time that these cock snots have done this to me either. This is business as usual. I always make sure that I keep my schedule completely empty on the days that I work, and I tend to work almost everyday.

Aside from the ridiculous hours, it really is a good job. So in my fear of possibly losing the job I will not reveal where I work. However, if you are someone close to me or were just some random person that asked, I’d probably reply by telling you that I sell exercise equipment at a Sports Authority. And if you were someone that seemed familiar with the city of Denver then I’d tell you that it’s the one on Colorado Boulevard and Alameda. You know, the one that’s right next to the Super Target near Shotgun Willy’s. I would also ask you to stop in sometime and say hi, or you could stop in and buy something from me, or we could just have a friendly conversation to help my workday go by faster, or maybe you could kick me in the dick while singing “Guantanamera” into your cell phone , or you and your friends could give me a saran wrapped Roman shower show in the tennis isle, or you could hop on the Bob Human Punching Bag and fuck start his face, or you could challenge me to a summer-sault power stand competition, or actually the best thing you could do is bring me something to eat. Then I might feel like there would be some sort of purpose to my being there all fucking day, every fucking day. Seriously, there is an enormous lack of common sense when it comes to the scheduling at this fucking place. They really know how to stretch people to the very brink of going nuts and driving a U-Haul full of gas and fertilizer into the building, and just when you reach that level of thinking they tell you that you can go home.

Fuck it anyway, dude. I’m going to Las Vegas to attend the AVN Awards next month and I’m deciding whether I will keep this job or quit. Because right when I get back from Vegas, I start school on the 22nd of January. It’s film school, so I’m hoping that I can somehow miraculously find some sort of film job here in Denver while I’m going to school. 

So if you’re ever in that Sports Authority on the corner of Colorado Blvd. and Alameda then just ask the front desk for Luke. It would be nice to talk to someone that doesn’t work at the store or isn’t some total fucktard that lacks the brain power to understand how a stationary bike works. I’d love to keep typing on here, but I’m really friggin’ tired. I’ve been working all God damn day and I just want to play a little Playstation, look at some internet porn and crank one out on my thigh, take a shit and a shower, and then finally go to bed. Besides, I have to work tomorrow.

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